After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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