my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my poor anus
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
