Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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