omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
