So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
