At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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