He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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