I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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