I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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