BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
