how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize