and she was petting her beer can
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
