Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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