i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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