Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
