just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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