So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
