I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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