Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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