question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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