no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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