there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
