i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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