i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize