the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
