And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
