fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
