so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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