Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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