Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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