Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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