That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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