you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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