2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
