Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
