Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
