he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
