Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize