Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
