America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
