Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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