We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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