i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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