He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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