Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
