the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
