Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
