Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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