You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize