new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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