I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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