thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize