Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
