i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
