So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
