when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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