I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
