bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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