dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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