Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
