a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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